I hope this isn't harsh

I know that I do not blog very often, but this my friends is something I feel strongly about. I filed for disability through the VA because of my knee and was told that I did indeed have a service related disability, but I would be receiving 0% compensation. Well this is my letter that I wrote tonight for my appeal. Do you think it will fly?

Dear N.D. Stokes and other board members:

I have thought hard about your decision to grant me 0% compensation and I believe that I deserve more. I understand that my knee is not constantly swollen and does not seem to be that much of a hassle, but you do not experience the pain that I experience because of it. My son is eight years old and I am unable to run along with him because my knee jars with pain. Each time I try to run with my son I am basically debilitated for two to three days afterwards.

There are some nights when I can’t sleep at all because of the pain that is radiating from my knee. My fiancé has to be careful about how he cuddles with me because he does not want to cause me pain. I have to put a pillow under my knee in order to fall asleep a lot of nights.

Yes I may have full flexion and rotation of the knee, but the doctor also told me that I would need to get some old style surgery to get it fixed. He told me that I would need for the patella to be moved into the proper place and the cartilage shaved to where it needs to be and re-arrange the whole thing. He said it wouldn’t be just a little punch here and a little hole there. My knee needs a lot of work.

I deal with it. I dealt with it while I was in the Army. You know that I was told that, “if you just run it out of you it won’t hurt any more.” That came from a physical therapist who didn’t want to deal with yet another female soldier with knee problems.

I spent my first three years in the Army at Fort Bragg. Home of the Airborne – Hua! But, the biggest problem was, even though we weren’t a 100% Airborne unit, we would still run like one. Mondays were 3 milers. Wednesdays were 5 milers. Then there was my favorite; Friday, which was generally a 6 to 8 mile company run. You can’t complain about that. It doesn’t matter if you’re on profile or just slow. You are going to do it. My knee was slowly going, but it wasn’t going to be left behind at Fort Bragg.

When I arrived at Fort Huachuca, Arizona I was pregnant with my son. I did all of the physical training (PT) they offered pregnant soldiers, most importantly the pool therapy. After I had my son I not only lost the pregnancy weight, but I also lost twenty additional pounds. I was the same weight I was when I was 16. It was a wonderful feeling, but that darn left knee kept me down. About six months after I had my son I went to sick call because my knee was really bothering me. About every three months I went to the same Physician’s Assistant (PA) who told me, “that it was anterior knee pain and we better get you on profile.” It was me who asked to be seen by the physical therapist because when I was at Ft. Huachuca in `98 a physical therapist helped me through some trouble with my shoulder and I knew they could show me the way.

That way was lost in 1998 because when I showed up at the physical therapist’s door he already had a piece of paper in his hand and was ready to tell me what was wrong. The therapist did no therapy. He didn’t want to because it was a knee and either you have surgery or you don’t. He told me that it was a basic problem runners have and the best thing to do was to run through the pain. I never went to that physical therapist again, not because it was my choice, but because he said that it wasn’t that bad.

So there I was. I was still broken and in pain. By this time I had been promoted to Sergeant and I needed to get ready to go to Primary Leadership Development Course (PLDC), but PLDC wouldn’t take me because I was on a temporary profile. Something needed to be done. I wasn’t going to let my knee hinder my advancement in the Army. I told my PA that something needed to be done. He said, “Okay. Let’s get you a permanent profile so you can go to PLDC.” Wonderful, I get to be the girl who can’t run on a PT test. Well, good news is I can walk like the wind blows.

So that was 2003. I was off to PLDC and came back Honor Grad, even though I couldn’t run. There were many difficulties I faced because I couldn’t run. Certain field operations I was left behind because of my profile. I became the profile Non Commissioned Officer (NCO). Profile NCO is not a fun job. People looked down on me because I wasn’t 100%. I wasn’t allowed to do things because I wasn’t 100%. I was made fun of because I couldn’t run.

Through all of this I dealt with the constant pain my knee delivered. I did not give up on my duties or fail to make the cut. I always gave my 100% even when my 100% wasn’t good enough.

Here I am now. Only three years after getting out of the Army. Wishing I could show my son some of the cool maneuvers we learned when I was in Basic Training, but I can’t. It’s not because I’m old, but it is because I am broken and nobody wanted to fix me.

Yes I may have full flexion and rotation in my knee, but you don’t see the pain. You don’t hear the pain. Each time I walk down a step I have a click in my knee. If I stand too long I have to pop my knee otherwise it locks in place. Doctors don’t see this because they are not with me everyday. They don’t hear the clicks, pops, and grinds my knee makes on a daily basis. A doctor does not see me when I wake up because it feels like I just got shot in the knee. I cannot sit for more than 15 minutes without pain starting to radiate through my knee. I’m constantly adjusting how I am sitting to make myself more comfortable. I am only 32 years old and I have been dealing with this pain since I was in my early twenties. I just want to get what I deserve. I want someone for once to understand that I was wronged years ago. If only one person would have actually listened and cared for what I was going through, then maybe I wouldn’t be dealing with the pain I have today.

Sincerely yours,

Kristen Covieo

USA Veteran ’97-‘07

Holy nice weather Batman

Okay, so I haven't been here, but I have had a great excuse. I've started school again and it seems that I am doing pretty well. Some may not believe that it is a real school and won't count towards anything, but if it gets me my Bachelor's degree in Psychology then I will be quite happy. The classes are only five weeks long and it is only one at a time. Talk about stress free. I'm so happy that I am able to attend school and still attend to my family. The fact that I was able to complete my schoolwork and attend classes while I was having fun at Disney World really made the school worthwhile to me. This is my last week of my first class and so far I'm sporting a big giant A. Now of course I'm upset that I don't have a perfect 100%, but I guess a 99.4% is good enough for me. Yeah, I know that I am settling, but I promise to do better next class.

Now on to the weather. Unbelievably it is supposed to be 73 beautiful degrees here in Marengo today. So what are the plans? Nothing. That's right I said it. I'm going to do nothing. Nothing that is while setting out in the sun enjoying today. I'm going to be lazy and enjoy the birds singing and the squirrels running through the yard. I'm not going to do any yard work, but I will complain to myself about the state of the yard. I'm going to send Sean out to enjoy the weather, but warn him to leave me alone in my bliss.

Oh what a beautiful morning.